They talk to someone who isn't there, save a place at the table, tell you what their friend «said». Between the tenderness and a pinch of unease, you wonder if it's healthy or if you should worry.
The impulse may be to correct («that's not real») or to be alarmed («is something wrong?»). Lower both. An imaginary friend, in early childhood, is almost always a sign of a lively imagination and a healthy way of rehearsing the world, not of loneliness or a problem. Breathe and watch with curiosity rather than correction.
The imaginary friend is a common phenomenon and, in most cases, completely normal and healthy in early childhood: it's a workshop where the child rehearses roles, practices language, processes emotions, and exercises control over a world they almost never control. It usually appears and fades on its own. It's no sign of pathological loneliness or of lacking real friends —many very sociable children have them—. What is worth watching, without alarm, is what it serves: whether it's play and company (the expected) or whether it appears as a refuge from something hard —a big change, tension at home, a fear—. There the imaginary friend is the window, not the problem.
Don't ridicule them or say «that's not real, drop that nonsense»: you scorn their inner world and gain nothing. Don't be alarmed or treat it as a symptom: in the vast majority it's healthy. Don't use it to manipulate («your friend says to behave») —you turn their play into a tool of control—. But don't let it displace their whole real life unwatched either: if it completely replaces real children, keep an eye on it. Don't feed it too much or forbid it: accompany it.
No ranking, on purpose: no two children are alike, and yours isn't even the same as yesterday. Read which one fits your home, today — or combine them.
Step in naturally and without overacting: acknowledge their friend as part of their play without making it the center of the house. «And what are they up to today?» without making it real or denying it. Letting it exist, with gentle limits, respects their imagination and doesn't give it a weight it doesn't have.
Watch when it shows up and what it expresses: sometimes the friend says what the child doesn't dare —fears, wishes, angers—. It's a valuable clue to their inner world. If you notice it surfaces more in hard moments, listen like someone reading a message, without alarm.
Without taking the friend away, open chances with real children: play with others, invitations, activities. Not to «cure» the imaginary friend, but so their real social life grows too. The imaginary one says goodbye on its own when the real world offers enough.
There's no urgency: it's a phenomenon to observe calmly, not to intervene in. If it appears closely tied to a big change —a move, a new sibling, tension at home—, look at that background with tenderness rather than the friend itself. If another adult is parenting, share that you both treat it with the same naturalness, neither mockery nor alarm. Most of the time, the best plan is to enjoy the stage.
The imaginary friend is almost always normal and healthy, and needs no intervention. It's worth consulting the pediatrician or a child professional only if it comes with signs that are concerning in themselves: total isolation from real children that doesn't ease with time, intense distress or panic tied to the «friend», harmful behaviors attributed to it, a marked loss of contact with reality beyond their age, or if it persists strongly well past early childhood alongside difficulties relating. In the vast majority of cases none of this happens. This is peer commentary, not clinical advice: for specific doubts, the pediatrician can guide you.
Everything in this house is peer commentary and suggestion — it does not replace professional help. It's every mother's and every father's responsibility to notice the situation and to seek it when it can serve. If you need a number, check the directory of helplines by country. The full disclaimer, here.
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